Tips on Modesty

One young guy said “To me modesty is anything that doesn't distract me from looking at a girls eyes.”
That says it all in one sentence!
But the question is, what distracts guys from looking at a girl's eyes? They think differently from us, remember?

Here are a few things I've heard and read that has influenced the way I think about clothes. It also gives you a little bit of an idea how guys think. I've added a few tips and principles that I use for myself and find helpful. We all have different styles and tastes and we don't have to dress exactly the same. I am not saying that you need to dress like me. I am a tomboyish person and like what's comfortable, simple and practical. I dislike dressing up!
We are all different, but we should all want to please God in the way we dress and not be a stumblingblock to any guy. Right??

Tops

This is what I read about Joni Erickson Tada's husband.

This is the man who could come home from a day of teaching at school, and if some girl in his class had a plunging neckline, he would tell Joni about it. He would say, “I looked, Joni. I'm so sorry I did. I feel badly about it.”
Guys shouldn't look, of course. But how are they supposed to talk to you without looking at you? And sometimes the only places for them to look is the floor or the ceiling!
 

Some tips about tops!

If your top is low, you can always wear a high singlet underneath. High singlets aren't always easy to find, so some girls buy boys singlets! :) Otherwise you can buy small thin t-shirts and cut out the sleeves. That's what I've done a few times. If I'm unsure whether my top is too tight or not, I ask my husband. When I lived at home I asked my mum. If my top is see through I wear a singlet. If you have a dress with no material up the top, you can always buy a little jacket to cover your shoulders etc. Make sure your straps are covered. If you buy a top with writing, make sure it's appropriate and not suggestive. I bought a hoody awhile back and when I got home I realized that I hadn't read the writing on it. I had to take it back!! Also be very careful when you bend over!

Togs

I was watching a video of Ray Comfort trying to show a man that he had broken the Ten Commandments. He explained how lusting after a person is the same as adultery in God's eyes. He asked the man if he had ever looked at a woman with lust. The man's reply was, “Of course, you only need to walk down the beach.” What does that tell us?

I also heard another man, at a course I was at, say something that implied his thoughts are not pure at the beach. Why at the beach?? Because that's a place where modesty doesn't matter for most girls.

In the video called “The evolution of the swimsuit” the girl who is talking explains how when a guy sees a girl in a bikini his brain sees her as an object not a person. That's scary! She also said that when the bikini first came out, the only person who would wear it was a stripper. Isn't it sad that today it's normal for Christians to wear them?

If a bikini is modest, what isn't??
 

A tip about togs!

In my country at least, it's easy to find nice board shorts and swimsuit tops for swimming. You can still be covered without looking odd. I don't like swimming myself, so I don't have to worry about this one! :) Also there are websites around that sell modest swimwear.
 

Skirts/Dresses

I read this quote in a book about some missionaries to the Philippines. (The wife was worried when she heard of other American men in the Philippines being unfaithful to their wives and she mentioned her fears to her husband)

“It's true, I'm tempted, darling,” he admitted gently, “I'm a man, not a stone. Every time a girl in a miniskirt walks by, I have to choose to avert my eyes. Adulterous thoughts want to take root in my mind.” For a wife, that's scary stuff! (He then went on to tell her that she needed to pray that He would stay close to God as that was the only thing that could keep their marriage safe.)
 

A tip about skirts/dresses

Be careful your skirts aren't too short, tight or that the splits aren't too high. (These principles apply to shorts and trousers, too) Otherwise the purpose of wearing a skirt will be defeated! Also, be careful when you sit! It's the others who see how you look when you're sitting, not yourself! I personally prefer to wear three quarter length skirts because then I don't have to worry about sitting too carefully! (Well, that's one reason!) If your skirt is see-through, you can always wear a good old petticoat!

“To me modesty is anything that doesn't distract me from looking at a girls eyes."