Airplane Humor

It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.

"What are my choices?" he asked.

She replied, "Yes or No."

Working at an airline ticket counter, I pulled up a passenger's reservation that showed his name as "Cole, Pheven."

"I'd like to be certain our information is correct," I said to him. "What is your first name?"

"It's Stephen," he replied. "I hope the reservation agent got it right. I told him it's spelled with a ph."

En route to Hawaii, I noticed one of my passengers in the coach section of the airplane dialing her cell phone. "Excuse me. That can't be on during the flight," I reminded her. "Besides, we're over the ocean— You won't get a signal out here."

"That's okay," she said. "I'm just calling my daughter. She's sitting up in first class."

 

(A true story)

David, my brother-in-law, works in commercial advertising and as part of his work, he travels quite a bit. He and his camera crew were going through airport security in New Orleans a few years ago. One of the camera cases had plastic tie strips on it to prevent it from opening during the flight. The TSA inspector seemed confused by the plastic zip ties.

He looked at David and said, "I'm going to have to break these to inspect this case."

David said, "Okay."

Then the TSA inspector paused and asked, "Do you have a knife so I can cut these off?"

David had just passed through the security scanner so he said, "No. I'm not allowed to have one."
The inspector said, "Oh, yeah." And let them go without inspecting the case.