Our baby girl has a drain in her chest at the moment as there is a lot of fluid there. But the drain leaks so her dressing needs to be changed a lot. A few days ago I was standing next to her cot while the nurses were changing her dressing. Lydia was crying as it was painful. I don't know how babies think, but if she thought like an adult I could imagine her thinking, "Mummy, are you really there? How can you stand there and watch people hurting me? Why aren't you stopping them? It hurts! Why, Mummy?"
Lydia couldn't understand the reason why. But because of my love for her, I have to let her be hurt when it means that it will help her get better. I only let people hurt her when it has to be done--when it is for her good. It hurts me to see her hurt.
As I watched her and thought about this, I learned a lesson. There are painful things in my life at the moment and I find myself asking God the same questions. "Are you really there? Why is this happening? Why are you allowing this? It hurts! Why?"
I don't understand the reason why. But because of God's love for me, He does allow things that will help change me for the good.
I can trust Him. He is in control. He doesn't like to see me in pain, but He knows what has to be done. He cares for me far more than I care for Lydia. One day I will see the big picture like God does and then I will understand the purpose of every trial.
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